Countdown

Counting down the hours, minutes, seconds…Monday, arrival time: 0600.  Surgery time: 0715.

I’m still not liking the fact that this has happened and what must be done, but I’ve come to terms with it and now looking forward to Tuesday – the day after when healing begins.

When the constant attention to 2-4 drains which need to be ‘milked’ and measured for 7-14 days begins, and when at the end of that time, when true healing begins and I start taking my life back.

When I started this blog, it began with ‘a life hijacked’.  And so it has been.  You never really understand how derailed a life can become so easily.  How fragile we all are, and how we live each moment on a precipice of illusion.

In 2001, I had a brain tumor and got that message loud and clear.  As soon as we were able, we left the corporate world to begin a life where we were more in control of our hours, minutes & seconds and made the most of them.

We became complacent in thinking there’s always tomorrow.  News Flash.  There’s not. Tomorrow is not guaranteed. Life is not graded on a curve, and sometimes, it isn’t fair.

Understanding this brings us to a place of making the most of our time and opportunities.  Being ‘there’ for others as well as ourselves.

Anna Quindlen once said ‘Don’t ever confuse the two, your life and your work.  The second is only part of the first.’  In the words of Senator Paul Tsongas when he decided not to run for re-election because he had been diagnosed with cancer: “‘No man ever said on his deathbed, I wish I had spent more time at the office.”  John Lennon wrote (before he was gunned down in the driveway of the Dakota) ” Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans”.

We don’t talk much about the soul anymore.  Well, there is a small group here and there that do, but for the most part, people are ablaze in conflict.  We need to get back to being mindful, to practicing kindness.  My generation was so strong in the 60s with these thoughts – what has happened to us as we age?  We have surely forgotten who we are.

Most people define ‘wrong’ as that which is different from them…. think about that.

When was the last time you felt your soul sing with boundless joy?  If it was not today, then we need to ask ourselves why we are denying ourselves the greatest of riches….because life is short.

These words seem trite, but always true….love, laugh, live.

I send love and hugs to you all.  And as always, thank you for all the love, prayers and support you have given me.  I take all that with me into surgery very soon.

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Judy Roy
    Oct 09, 2011 @ 21:03:50

    Thanks for the reminder. Great words! We are sending you love and healing energy. You are not alone!

    Reply

  2. Helene Jeanette
    Oct 09, 2011 @ 02:30:37

    My thoughts of love have been with you daily. Monday morning, I’ll be at a teacher’s inservice workshop while you are in surgery. What do you think I’ll be thinking about? Certainly not the latest buzzword of some educational pundit.

    I disagree with you on one point- you said that when all this is over, you get to take your life back. Your life during these weeks have been filled with , pain, reflection, fear, joy, indomitable courage, and great love. I’d say you lived and live your life with the abundance of who you are. There’s nothing to take back- it has no hold over you.

    You’ve taught me much as I’ve shared the journey with you, and you’ve given all around you the opportunity to choose being conscious, giving, loving. When we are, who do we give to if not everyone including ourselves?

    I went diving today and experienced vertigo at depth. Once safely above the water, I found myself wondering, this happened because I had no frame of reference- just water, much like sea sickness. So what is the frame of reference we choose to bring with us every conscious moment as we live? And if it’s not love, do we not experience a type of vertigo with feelings of despair, grief, fear?

    Author Anais Nin once said, “We see things not as they are, but as we are.” Truly, who is the “we” who is seeing? What is the frame of reference? Fear or Joy? Choose Joy, always choose Joy.

    Reply

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