On the chopping block

Dear friends, I am SO sorry to give you the news we got today from the oncology surgeon’s pathology report at the post-op visit.

He said my breast was ‘loaded with dcis’ and the pathology report indicated a positive margin after a mastectomy…that means that I am still at risk for cancer if no further action is taken.

We travel back next week to meet with the Radiation Specialist to discuss possible radiation, and the Genetic Cancer Counseling group to discuss the drug Tamoxifen which works on positive estrogen receptors (which my cells have..not everyone does).

Neither are very attractive to me, and the thought that this is way not over is tremendously upsetting being one week out from the week from hell.  So here I am on the chopping block waiting for the axe to fall.

I don’t think radiation is an option without first removing the reconstruction (another surgery), and then re-constructing it (yet a fourth surgery) thereafter (with drains and surgery aftermath both times!!)…. needless to say my mind is screaming ‘NO!’  But before we all think the worst case scenario, take a breath, let it out, and just wait again to find out towards the end of next week.

In the meantime, I intend to get stronger for what lies ahead.




3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Pam Fry
    Oct 25, 2011 @ 15:04:15

    It is hard to find a life lesson here…all that comes to mind is ‘oh shit, this ain’t fair!’ You are a tough bird, lady, and you and I know that you will come through with flying colors. Love and light to you and your husband.


  2. Jerome
    Oct 20, 2011 @ 15:57:30

    Fern, I am so so sorry to hear this . . .
    Keep the faith!


  3. Helaine
    Oct 19, 2011 @ 19:37:59

    I no longer know what to think, what to say and the tears refuse to come. I’ve resorted to research….something empirical which has no feelings attached. I am here if you need me. Numb, but here. And we will heal together.


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