Somber day

It was a gorgeous sunny day today – and we were at Duke Hospital Clinic for post-op…. entered the building about 12:30 and got out at 4pm… always a long day.

They drew blood and checked my liver enzymes with the Tamoxifen (all ok), did exams, and we talked about the margin, risk, and checks daily.

I had gotten comfortable in forgetting all that had happened to a large degree, and moving on with my life (such as one could after a double mastectomy)…but this brought it right smack dab in front of my face again… in not a happy way.  Why do I want a daily reminder that cancer could develop any day and again change my life…. but that is what it is, and it is what I have…. with the unclean margin, my risk is 10-20%… hopefully Tamoxifen will cut it in half over 5 years, but no guarantees…

And I had thought that it was only after having Sentinel Node (Lymph nodes) biopsied that one developed a Lympodema risk..I hadn’t known that it would also be a risk following mastectomy… altho greater on my left side where they removed lymph nodes.

So more talk about Lymphedema and symptoms…. another constant reminder of being ‘at risk’.

I’d like to say I ‘snapped out of it’ after leaving Duke, and I probably will tomorrow when we go mountain biking and I get to forget again…but for now, it is front and center…. and it is and will always be a part of my new life.

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